It was almost a year ago that, fresh out of college and still without grown up jobs, Vizzi and I stayed up all night writing and recording our version of Vocal Coach. It was for a contest Bomb The Music Industry! was (is?) having, where the winner got a test pressing of their (then) soon to be released album Vacation.

A winner has yet to be announced, but I still like how our version of Vocal Coach came out. I also listened to Vocal Coach so many times that night that, to this day, I kind of hate Vocal Coach.

You can download the MP3 here: http://www.mediafire.com/?htyrd5e7qhhopi2

-Craig Shay

Vocal Coach as told by Craig Shay and Mike Vizzi of Eli Whitney & The Sound Machine

I dragged my feet up wooden stairs

My honest words met empty glares

And I couldn’t recognize what echoed through stale attic air

They said we’re done with kid stuff

We’ve had our fun, we’ve had enough

Of basement shows where no one goes

And said “you’re going to a vocal coach”

You pissed on my ideals

Forgetting how it feels

I shaved my beard for promo shots, the clean complexion that you want

An empty envelope

Won’t pay my student loans

I guess my gas tank’s dry enough

I guess they’re right, fuck, I give up

Stand up straight

There’s a reason he gets paid

Don’t try too hard, okay?

Loud night on Main Street

What’s mine that’s left to keep?

Cramped basements, living rooms, amps too loud, shitty sound

No one’s buying any merch, no one’s booking us for bigger shows

Words that kill aren’t gonna pay the bills

And I’m wasting too much time

They know what they want so I guess that I can try

To leave it all behind

I don’t know what I want so I guess that we can try

Shut your mouth and get in line

Loud night on Main Street

What’s mine that’s left to keep?

We’re playing tighter sets

And no one gives a shit

No more sloppy sing-alongs

And I don’t love this anymore

I FUCKING QUIT

Drag my feet through small town streets

‘Cause this is what I choose

Drag my feet through small town streets

I can’t do this for you

Drag my feet through small town streets

I might not make it but I’ll make it count

Eli Whitney learns about MEGABATS. 4 foot bats, folks.

NEW SONGS

Hey, so summer’s almost here, which means that instead of playing once every month or so, we’ll be having shows every week or two! Fun!

Our first gig of the summer batch is going to be in about two weeks, on Monday June 4th with a bunch of our friends (Survay Says, Go Big, Lawn Chair Bombers, and more! Check it out on facebook!), so don’t miss out, it’s sure to be a really good time.

The next show we have lined up is on Saturday, June 9th. It’s a contest to get a slot on ECC’s Today’s Mixtape Festival. The festival is hosting some of my favorite bands, including Iron Chic, The Front Bottoms, The World is a Beautiful Place…, and a whole lot more. If you came out to support us it would be mucho appreciated (check out the event here), so, I hope to see you there!

We have a lot of stuff in the works right now including new songs (which I’m very excited to play for you ASAP) as well as booking our summer tour with our favorite broskies, The Pandemics. We’ve never been to the midwest before, so this is going to be an exciting adventure for us. We’re working on booking a lot of these dates at the moment, but in case you’d like to set something up for us in one of these areas (or would like to get us in touch with someone who could), I will give you tons of hugs and kisses:

Wednesday: August 1 - Pittsburgh/Western PA
Thursday: August 2 - Ohio
Friday: August 3 - Michigan
Saturday: August 4 - Chicago 
Sunday: August 5 - Indiana
Monday: August 6 - West Virginia/Ohio/Pennsylvania
Tuesday: August 7 - Washington DC/Maryland/Delaware
Wednesday: August 8 - Philadelphia/New Jersey/Delaware
*Thursday: August 9 - Syracuse/Upstate NY
*Friday: August 10 - Massachusetts
*Saturday: August 11 - Connecticut
*Sunday: August 12 - Possible homecoming show/collapse from exhaustion

*August 9-12 without the Pandemics

So, that’s pretty much what we’ve got on the agenda right now. See you at ASOB on Sunday!

-Vizzi

June 4 - Broadway Bar (198 Broadway, Amityville, NY 11701)
$10, Doors @ 5:30 PM, 16+
Survay Says, Go Big, Lawn Chair Bombers, The Infidelities, 32 Pints of Apple Juice

June 9 - Mixtape Fest Contest - Broadway Bar (198 Broadway, Amityville, NY 11701)
$10, Doors @ Noon, Us @ 6:00 PM

June 23 - Parkside Pub (357 Wantagh Avenue Levittown, NY 11756)
$5, 8:00 PM
w/ Censors, Los Bungalitos, Go Big

July 26 - Cedar Beach (Harbor Beach Rd. Mount Sinai, NY 11766)
$Free!, 7:30 PM
w/ Curious Volume, Go Big, No Such Noise, Lawn Chair Bombers

July 28th - Sinclair’s Pub (419 Great E Neck Rd, West Babylon, NY)
w/ The Pandemics & more TBA

kate-mix:

joepending:

We fancy!!! #redcarpet (Taken with instagram)

So proud of my friends!

Congratulations to Patent Pending on a job well done and more than deserved!  Catch them tonight on the billboard awards starting at 8pm!

Only the happiest of family moments.

-Craig Shay

Is anybody not really into The Front Bottoms right now?

-Craig Shay